Here’s a bold statement: masculinity is often defined by what men are told not to be, rather than what they should be. Ishaan Khatter, a rising star in Bollywood, recently shed light on this provocative idea during the Yuvaa All Stars Roundtable 2025. But here's where it gets controversial—he argues that men are primarily taught to avoid femininity rather than embrace a positive, nuanced understanding of masculinity. This perspective, shaped by his upbringing and career, challenges traditional norms and invites us to rethink how we define manhood.
Ishaan, the son of actors Rajesh Khattar and Neelima Azim, was raised by a single mother after his parents separated when he was just six. This experience, he explains, has been pivotal in shaping his views on masculinity. “Men are not taught to be men; they’re just taught not to be women,” he stated, highlighting how masculinity is often constructed in opposition to femininity rather than as a standalone identity. He further elaborated, “A lot of my understanding of what it means to be a man is tied to the relationship between men and women.” This insight is particularly striking in an industry where hypermasculine portrayals of male heroes dominate the screen.
And this is the part most people miss—Ishaan’s career has been uniquely influenced by the female gaze. Directed by powerhouse female filmmakers like Mira Nair, Nupur Asthana, and Priyanka Ghose, he’s had the rare opportunity to view masculinity through a different lens. “Because I’ve been subject to the female gaze, I’ve understood it to some extent,” he shared. Over eight years in the industry, he estimates that half of his collaborators have been women. “To understand a different perspective is a great strength,” he added, emphasizing that empathy is at the core of cinema—and, by extension, of being human.
But let’s pause for a moment: Is masculinity truly defined by its contrast to femininity? Or is there a more holistic way to understand it? Ishaan’s perspective is refreshing, but it’s also bound to spark debate. After all, if masculinity is only taught in terms of what it’s not, how can men ever fully embrace who they are?
Ishaan’s recent work reflects this nuanced approach. He starred in Neeraj Ghaywan’s critically acclaimed film Homebound, India’s official Oscar entry this year, and took on a leading role in Netflix’s The Royals. Both projects showcase his ability to portray complex, sensitive characters—a far cry from the one-dimensional heroes often seen in mainstream cinema.
So, here’s the question for you: Do you agree with Ishaan’s take on masculinity? Or do you think there’s more to being a man than simply not being a woman? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments—because if there’s one thing Ishaan’s perspective teaches us, it’s that empathy starts with listening.
